Resources for Navigating Grief & Loss
Dealing with loss can be challenging. Though death is the one promise in life, conversations about loss and grief are still somewhat taboo in American culture. Today we're sharing a few things that may be helpful for folks dealing with loss, new or old. From books to quotes to websites, we invite you to take what you need and leave the rest.
Find Community
The Dinner Party organization is for folks in their twenties to forties grieving and looking to be in a community with others dealing with loss. People are matched to tables (IRL and virtual) where you can talk about the nitty-gritty of grief with folks who get it. I (Kamil) began attending an in-person table in 2018 after my dad's death for women of color, which was pivotal to my healing journey. We broke bread, shared stories, laughed, cried, and, most importantly, healed in community. I now lead my own virtual space for Black and Brown folks, but I highly recommend visiting the site to find a table aligned with your journey and needs.
Creating Rituals for Our Loss
A significant barrier for some may be trying to memorialize those they've lost in a meaningful way. Through the Be Ceremonial site, you can find ways to invite rituals into your grieving/healing process. Whether through everyday activities you do on your own or planning more extensive experiences, Be Ceremonial removes some of the pressure while providing direction on moving forward in a way that feels easeful for you. It's important to note that this site isn't exclusive to death; they also have offerings to help you create ceremonies for milestones ranging from getting your own space to walking away from a relationship that no longer serves you.
Feeling the Feels
Grief can bring up so many more emotions than just sadness. Sometimes it can be hard to pinpoint what's coming up for us, making the emotions wheel a beneficial tool. Whether using it to understand your emotions better or trying to communicate your feelings to those around you, it's a great place to start.
Healing Through Stories
Modern Loss showcases essays from people who have dealt with a wide range of loss. This platform reaffirms how each person's grief is unique, and through people's vulnerability, it helps remove some of the silence often associated with grief. Beyond the stories, the site shares resources, external articles about loss, and helpful insight you can apply to your journey.
Meditating Through the Madness
Meditation has many benefits, and how it looks varies from person to person. Dealing with grief and everything it comes with can make it difficult to offer yourself and others compassion. This meditation from Lalah Delia on the Insight Timer invites you to slow down and create space for more grace in your life. We encourage you to explore the Insight Timer and its extensive library of guided meditations, sound meditations, tools to help you sleep better, breathwork practices, and more.
Ask the Questions
Society may want us to rush through our loss, but grief asks us to pause and reflect. These 18 questions about grief can be a helpful tool for those mourning and those who may be in community with someone grieving. Whether you're using these questions to meditate during your morning walk, choosing one to discuss with your chosen fam, or reaching out to a loved one, it is a great starting point.
Music as Medicine
Curating a playlist to accompany us through a grief journey can be healing and even more so when done in collaboration with those who may share this loss or be navigating their own. It may sound like a mix of the songs that make you think of the ones you lost or upbeat jams that lift your spirit, or maybe even the jams that help you sit with the rage and sadness; either way, make it your own and rock out.
Here are a few bops you may want to add to your list:
Miss & Love by Bubbly Lewis & Jhene Aiko
Fix You by Coldplay
Higher Place by Skip Marley, Bob Marley & the Wailers
W.A.Y.S. by Jhene Aiko
See You Again by Wiz Khalifa & Charlie Puth
I’ll Be Missing You by Puff Daddy & Faith Evans
bell hooks Taught Us
Unsurprisingly, we're bell hooks stans and praise the heavens for her wisdom that still guides us after her earthly transition. In All About Love, hooks gives us insight into how to navigate grief in the following quote:
"Since loving lets us let go of so much fear, it also guides our grief. When we lose someone we love, we can grieve without shame. Given that commitment is an important aspect of love, we who love know we must sustain ties in life and death. Our mourning, our letting ourselves grieve over the loss of loved ones is an expression of our commitment, a form of communication and communion."
